Avengers: Strawberries + Shawarma - 11

Strawberries & Shawarma
—Chapter Eleven:

"We need a plan of attack!"
—Steve Rogers

---

The Prince of Thunder calmly awoke that morning with a wall of windows gently filtering in sunlight and let out a slow breath before grinning to himself and rolling out of bed.

Literally. Like just-fell-off-the-bed-and-hit-the-floor rolled out of bed.

That put a bit of a damper on his mood, but Thor wasn't going to allow himself to be so easily swayed, instead picking himself up off of the floor, nodding to the ceiling in response to JARVIS' inquiry of his well-being and decided that it was presumably more appropriate to don some clothing before he ended up leaving his chambers—guest room, guest room, Tony had called it, evidently not too find of having to share his living quarters with someone who wasn't Pepper—in his current shirtless state.

No shirt, no shoes, no service, Clint had muttered the first time he'd accidentally run into the half-naked demi-god after the city clean-up they'd been working on. The latter had just wanted to ask how one went about using a shower as unique as Stark's, having too many knobs and settings that he just didn't understand.

Well, that and Tony wasn't too fond of Pepper running into a shirtless Thor post-shower.

With that in mind, the man sniggered to himself and tromped his way over to the chest of drawers that had been filled with clothing that miraculously managed to fit him—none of which were Stark's, seeing as the latter was quite a bit smaller than the Asgardian—and immersed himself in the comparison of plaid shirts and plain cotton ones before deciding that it honestly didn't matter.

Upon leaving his room, Thor made a note of how unnervingly quiet it was, lacking the noise and activity that it had the night before once Tony and Pepper had gone off on their date and left the lot of them to their own devices. He merely assumed it was because the others were still asleep.

He paused momentarily in his journey to the common room when the thought of the unorthodox couple came to mind and then suddenly he couldn't remember when they'd come home or if they'd even come home at all. Captain Rogers had made an inquiry last night once it had gotten to be early morning and they had the first three Harry Potter films under their belt, but Agent Barton had shrugged it off and said that they were probably either lost or dead so they should all just go to bed and leave it at that.

Thor didn't find either option overly amusing, but he'd said nothing about it.

Still, he was curious as to whether or not the Man of Iron and his lady friend had made it back safe and sound and he was all too prepared to go rouse the others and start a search-and-rescue operation when a light snore greeted him as he crossed the threshold into the main room and he froze upon the sight of a hand lain across the back of the couch.

The God of Thunder closed the distance with a few hearty strides and then chuckled at his discovery.

Stark's hand twitched idly in his sleep before slipping off of the back of the furniture to rest on Pepper's side, the woman shifting gently and burrowing her face further into his neck. A blanket that had formerly been spread across them was twisted around their legs and in the back of his mind Thor wondered if he was supposed to readjust it and place it over the couple again. Instead, he chose to stand there for a few more heartbeats and tried to ignore the niggling feeling that he was intruding as he watched Tony tighten his arm around Pepper's waist, both holding her closer to him and keeping her from rolling off of the couch and onto the floor.

After giving them both a quick survey in order to check for any wounds and deciding that they could do with being left alone for a bit, Thor gave the two of them a nod, his blessing—if that even meant anything; he'd like to think it was just a nice thing to do—and then ventured over to the stack of books that Pepper had pulled aside the day before after lunch, informing both he and Steve that they were free to browse through them and any of the others if they so chose, both to entertain themselves and learn a thing or two about this world.

Thor was debating between East of Eden and a book on King Arthur when Clint announced his presence rather loudly.

"Hey, Stark and his girlfriend ever make it back last night or did they get abducted by angry green Martians and now we have to go save them?" Early morning humor obviously wasn't Barton's strong-suit, but that was made up for by the fact that Thor didn't even understand the joke and just let it slide.

"The Man of Iron and his mistress have returned," the Asgardian said. "They are still asleep."

This earned a quirk 'brow from the archer, who remained standing by the entrance to the room and folded his arms over his chest. "Damn, and I was looking forward to fighting Marvin and his pals. This is disappointing."

"I do not understand, I thought we were glad that our fight with the alien army was over?" Thor frowned and Clint sighed.

"Well yeah, but. . ." As he spoke, Tony gave a small grunt from the couch as he shifted his position and the S.H.E.I.L.D. agent was abruptly on edge with his fists clenched. "The hell?"

Thor watched in bemusement while Hawkeye strode over to the sofa with a certain look on his face before peering over the edge and finding Tony and Pepper happily asleep and cuddled together.

". . .Cute. Whatever," The man shook his head, muttering something about Stark turning into a sap under his breath before turning his attention back to the man leafing through the story of Adam Trask and his family. "Anyway. I'm bored and sitting around in this Tower for days on end is going to drive me insane. Tasha and I thought we'd head out and check out this farmer's market. . .thing up a few blocks and see if we can't find something cool." He hooked a thumb over his shoulder in the general direction of the door. "You in?"

"Tasha?"

"Natasha. Black Widow? The only estrogen officially on the team, apparently."

"Ah."

Barton nodded before realizing that bringing up 'estrogen' wasn't something he was up for discussing. He'd heard enough about some tampon discussion and oh man, no thank you.

Thor had to admit that remaining indoors without much to do wasn't exactly at the top of his list of priorities and he didn't really have that much else to do. Besides, what could it hurt, venturing outside to this market and immersing himself in some Midgardian cultures in a place that was most likely full of food? He liked these foods and well. . .Look, it was either that or sit back and read while Stark Industries' leading couple dozed on the couch.

Tony muttered something about blueberries as they left.

---

After their initial discovery of the couple dozing together on the couch, Bruce and Steve were quite content to sit on the other side of the common room with their own respective books to go over with Pepper educated Tony on the pile of paperwork that both had been putting off and had crinkled the night before when he'd decided to tackle her.

Bruce had just about had the crap scared out of him as he walked into the common room when Pepper suddenly sat up on the couch.

His reaction had Steve dodging a blow to the face and the startled gamma expert tried to calm his heart rate.

The woman blinked at them tiredly for a moment and then promptly lay back down.

Captain America and the Hulk's alter ego stared, unabashed for a few moments and exchanged an ’wait, you saw that too, right? Oh man, is she awake or still asleep?' look before giving one another a short nod and venturing over to the same assortment of books that Thor had been pawing through not even twenty minutes ago in an effort to find the one on the last few decades of America history that Pepper had purchased the day previous while out with Steve.

Said man shot her another glance to see if she was still unconscious or not while Bruce leafed through the pages of The Odyssey absently and added it to his list of books to re-read.

"I think Miss Potts is asleep," he finally managed, only to be proven wrong a few minutes later when she twisted again and found herself meeting the twin gazes of the two men currently eying her and Tony warily. Her first reaction was to give a short shout and jerk backwards, earning much of the same reaction from Tony, who she elbowed in the gut before forcing herself upright, fully awake and alert.

Tony hadn't appreciated the abrupt wake up call and had made it quite clear that she would have to make up for it in the future with a coy wink. Steve had frowned while Bruce rolled his eyes and Pepper elbowed her boyfriend in the stomach again.

"I still don't see why you do this," he said, staring unseeingly at the sheets of paper he was supposed to be reading over. "This is just about as boring as. . .well, picture the most boring thing you can think of. And then make it more boring."

Pepper shook her head idly in response, not once glancing up from the contract she was studying, taking the pen she'd been twirling in her hand and jotting down a quick note in the margin, drawing a neat circle from that to something that had caught her attention. Truth be told, Tony honestly didn't know how she'd managed to do all of this paperwork for the past twelve years or so without completely losing it. Upon waking up from their rather unconventional sleeping arrangements Pepper had just about jumped headlong into it despite his protests of nope and come back to bed—just before he'd realized that they were not, in fact, in bed—after she'd greeted both Steve and Bruce like there was nothing unusual about the situation.

About an hour later and they were still going at it.

"You'd be surprised," she finally muttered after a few minutes of being unresponsive. In that time their guests had swapped books and were reacquainting themselves with tales of Odysseus and The Roaring Twenties. Both were just grateful that they weren't in the same boat as Stark. Pepper frowned at the paper she was reading again and Tony mirrored her expression, reaching toward her.

"Tony, who is this Arthur Parks man?"

His brow furrowed further as he took the contract from her, gaze roving over it and Pepper watched in that strange wonderful awe that came over her every time she watched him seamlessly slip from Tony Stark, Iron Man to Anthony Stark, CEO of Stark Industries and the carefully calculating, meticulous and stubborn businessman that had managed to keep the company afloat during its ups-and-downs (despite that last stock plummet and the events that had befallen around the time of the Expo) as his jaw clenched just so.

Rogers paused in recounting Homer's epic to take in the suddenly quiet and clearly displeased Stark Jr.

"One of the guys in R&D scrapping the bottom of the barrel," Tony said. "He's a pretty smart guy and fantastic physicist working with laser technology, but I was kinda concerned with some of his recent proposals." He rose an eyebrow as he handed the contract back to Pepper. "I thought I gave him some, ah, paid time off. What's he want now other than money?"

Pepper gave the text before her a grimace. "Something about energy projection and miniature laser diodes."

Steve pretended to know what they were talking about. Bruce was fairly interested in the discussion as it involved both science and an interestingly serious Tony (and Tony did get rather serious about his science, which was in itself interesting to see).

"Keep some tabs on him," Stark finally said after a few minutes, choosing instead to immerse himself in poking at Pepper's feet which had been strewn across his lap during their homework session. He gently wrapped a hand around her ankle when she went to pull away.

Making a few marks on the page, his co-CEO added a sticky note to its edge before setting it aside and moving to the next one. "Okay, Advanced Idea Mech—"

"I have no interest in this A.I.M. thing and or its MODOK thing. Pass." Tony sighed in exasperation, letting his head loll back onto the couch. Paperwork was boring and A.I.M. was driving him up the wall with its constant offers. They were much better things to occupy his time that he could think of, like tinkering around in the lab or upgrading the Iron Man or something to do with the woman sitting right next to him. With certain thoughts in mind it was becoming increasingly difficult to ignore the two guests in the room. "What's a MODOK anyway?"

Pepper sighed before adding a note to the proposal that was again going to be denied. "I don't know, maybe it has something to do with—"

"Room service!" Clint's voice called, effectively cutting her off as he bounced around the corner. He was followed closely by Natasha and Thor, the former looking exhausted and like she regretted not bringing a leash for the two men she'd gone to the farmer's market with. Thor was just more than happy that he'd gotten a few free food samples.

And by 'a few' that meant 'a whole helluva lot' and by 'free' that meant Natasha had to pay for everything. Now Stark just owed her one-thirty-five plus change because he'd given her partner the idea in the first place.

Speaking of Barton, the man himself was bounding on over to Tony and Pepper like an excited child about to show his parents the B-plus he'd gotten on an exam because he was usually a C-minus student and wanted something to put on the fridge other than the Great Uncle Nobody Really Liked's holiday card (he'll just be called Great Uncle Nick for now, just don't let him hear someone call him that). He extended his arms to the both of them, offering in one hand a Tupperware container that had been filled to the brim with some sort of tart and in the other. . .

"Is that a cactus?"

Tony blinked before the thing was shoved into his hands in spite of his muttering about not liking being handed things.

"Yes. A cactus," Clint deadpanned, speaking to man in front of him in an almost condescending way—not unlike the way JARVIS had while watching a certain movie the other day. "We," he nodded in the general direction of the two that had gone out with him, having made their way to the kitchen at the far end of the room to deposit their bags there. "Thought we'd get you two a gift. Kinda like a sorry-we-trashed-your-place—and by 'we' we mean mostly the Hulk, no offense, Dr. Banner—and-thanks-for-letting-us-crash-here housewarming gift."

Stark glanced from the cactus and then back up at Hawkeye. Pepper had pulled her legs back to herself and was giving the plant the same incredulous look.

"Also: this thing symbolizes your guys' relationship." Clint smirked. "Once it dies. . .well."

The others weren't surprised when Iron Man gave him a death glare.

"Not that we mean anything bad by that. I mean, how the hell do you even kill a cactus, right? It's like a cockroach: you can't kill it. It's a win-win." He was trying extremely hard not to laugh at this point.

Pepper's face was unnervingly impassive when she turned to face him.

"Are you saying our relationship is like a cockroach?"

Clint suddenly found nothing to laugh about. Natasha just about face-palmed.

"No! I just. . .It's a. . .gift. Free plant. Yay, cactus." He was floundering and apparently no one was planning on tossing him a life-preserver. "Cactus. . .yay. . ."

Right then, Bruce kind of pitied him.

"Okay, so this is the part where you go 'Oh, thanks for the gift, Clint!' or 'Oh, you shouldn't have, Clint!' and then everybody's happy and I don't unintentionally almost kill anybody today."

Tony wasn't completely sold on the idea, but thankfully his attention was diverted by the container that Clint was absently waving around in his other hand.

"What is that?" he asked, inclining his head in its general direction and even Steve strained to see, curious.

The life preserver that Barton had been hoping for was suddenly looped around his neck and he beamed, thankful that someone had put an end to his stammering.

"Ah yes, this! Food!" he then held it out toward Miss Potts as a peace offering in that Sorry-I-Almost-Shot-Your-Face-Off-Yesterday-Can-We-Be-Friends-Now-Kind-of-Way that was almost endearing. The woman watched carefully as he peeled back the lid to expose numerous tarts that looked just about as appetizing as her new Relationship Cactus did. "Here. Try one. It tastes like Jesus."

"I didn't realize that was a flavor," she murmured, hesitantly reaching out to take one as their on-lookers chuckled at the remark. Clint shrugged before holding the container out to Tony in effort to get him on his side again.

Pepper exchanged an apprehensive look with her boyfriend while her previously would-be murderer scampered over to the rest of the Avengers in order to share whatever tarts he'd bought.

"Mozel tov!" Thor just stared at Hawkeye when he said this, but thought nothing of it while Steve rolled his eyes and took one of the offered tarts.

Bruce had to admit that they were pretty good as he ate his, the topping an unrecognizable blended mixture of what tasted like raspberries, a bit of blueberry and quite a bit of—

His thoughts and appraisal were interrupted when Pepper cleared her throat, and they each turned their attention to her, expecting her to have something to say. Instead she shook her head with the wave of a hand and cleared her throat again. Tony paused mid-bite to ask if she was all right.

"I'm fine," she wheezed. "Just went down the wrong. . .Ah," her hand rubbed at her throat and she left the rest of her tart forgotten on the arm of the couch. "Just. . .I. . ."

Steve rose from his chair while Natasha darted to the cupboard and the sink to procure a glass of water. "Miss Potts, are you all right?"

Pepper nodded weakly. "I'm fine, I'm just. . ." She reached up to fan herself with the collar of her shirt. "It's really warm in here. . ."

Tony was on his feet about two seconds after that while trying to stop her from panicking and forcing his voice to voice to stay level. "Barton. What's in those things."

"Dunno, some fruit, I think. I thought they were pretty good. . ." he trailed off at the reddening in Pepper's face the way her lips appeared to have puffed up a bit.

"Barton." Stark snapped, startling the rest of them and Natasha paused as she worked on closing the distance between her and the woman struggling to breathe, Dr. Banner hot on her heels. "What. Is. In. Them."

"Uh," the archer began, flustered all over again. "Raspberry, maybe? Some blueberry, I don't know and, uh. . ."

Tony was dangerously close to wrapping his hands around Clint's neck and throttling him.

"'Uh,' what?"

". . .strawberries?"

Pepper gave a soft gasp in lieu of the panicked cry she would have given had she been able to get enough air.

"Strawberries?"

Iron Man's nostrils flared and he was honestly considering lunging at Hawkeye and give him a piece of his mind when he abruptly spun on his heel and sprinted out of the room, gunning in the direction of the bar upstairs.

"JARVIS! Mark VII!" he shouted.

"Sir, we're hardly begun the repairs after your latest ordeal and I don't think—"

"Just do it!" his voice thundered from down the hall. Bruce was working to keep Pepper from going into shock and asking if she had any sort of EpiPen that she could use in this situation and the most the woman could do nod in the general direction of her purse. He left Natasha to dig through that and Steve and Thor to remain off the side, completely baffled. Clint was just beside himself because—twice in the same number of days? Was this going to become some sort of ritual, him almost killing Pepper?

After a few moments of hurried searching, Black Widow finally found the damn EpiPen only after dumping the contents of Pepper's purse onto the floor while Bruce offered the suffering woman a small smile before yanking off the gray activation cap and timidly placing his hand upon her thigh.

"I'm sorry," he said right before holding the device firmly in fist and then jabbing it into her leg at a ninety-degree angle and holding it there. She squeezed her eyes shut at the sensation just as Tony came running back into the room, securing bracelets on his wrists and taking in the sight that was his comrade giving his girlfriend an epinephrine injection. Both men exchanged a look that clearly conveyed the need to take her to the hospital immediately.

"You trust me, Pep?" he asked once Bruce had pulled away and Pepper was still wishing she could breathe normally. She gave a hesitant nod before Tony tucked one arm behind her back and other under her knees. Instinctively her arms went around his neck and she gave a hesitant nod. "Well good, because otherwise this would never work."

And with that, Tony took off toward the wall with the Avengers calling out to him and a red and gold pod streaming after him.

Pepper hardly had time to think about screaming when she was suddenly free-falling.

Clint waited a few tense heartbeats and for the glass to stop raining down before throwing his hands up in defeat.

"Okay, next time we buy food how 'bout somebody warns me about food allergies so I can avoid almost killing someone? . . .Again?"